Sharing the juicy details of our time with our somatic mentor + women's intimacy's coach
The powerful woman that we heard from this April brought with her the juiciest topic yet, somatics & sacred sexuality.
The topic was so interesting that we received numerous requests for a virtual option. While I would have loved for this conversation to reach as many ears (and yonis) as possible, I also wanted to foster an environment where women can be fully present, vulnerable, and deeply connected. The magic of our gathering lies in the sacred space created when women come together to connect, support, and grow, and I'm committed to maintaining the intimate atmosphere for our community to share openly and authentically.
However, this stuff was so gooood that I can't help but share some of the key lessons, notes, and takeaways from our incredible teacher this month.
TBH- the little Catholic girlie in me was pretty unsure how this conversation was going to go. Sexuality was not a topic that I talked about openly with....pretty much anyone (okay, okay, except my besties, my husband, etc.). How in the world, then, would we have a room full of (essentially) strangers and get through this conversation?
I'll tell you why.
It's because Molly Eames is literally the most welcoming, warm, down-to-earth person who as soon as you enter the room, you feel like you're instant besties.
As women began to enter the room, Molly and I chated about her background and how she got into her role as a somatic mentor + women's intimacy's coach.
With a background as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Molly started off helping children overcome trauma. Through continued education and her own personal experiences, it was a class around sexual health that really sparked Molly's interest, and she knew this was exactly where she needed to be, supporting women to get in touch with their intuition and inner wisdom, and bringing more pleasure and intentionality into our lives.
Through various exercises and practices, Molly encouraged us to:
Broaden our understanding of intimacy: sexuality and intimacy is so much more than just sex!
Identify the difference in desire & arousal
Desire is that incredibly intense feeling of “wanting to want.” This might also be referred to as, libido, sexual drive or feeling “in the mood.” Muscles tense, heart rate increases, skin may get flushed and the mind gets busy with sexual thoughts.
Arousal entails the unmistakable physical signs of the sexual response.
Understand what we like and don't like (thinking back to past experiences) and communicating that openly and honestly with our partners
Seriously, does having the dishes or laundry done clear your mind for more 1:1 time? If so, communicate that!
Does the mid-day text get you going? Communicate that!
What in the past (in all past experiences) has been great? What has been bad? Communicate that!
Are you up for it but by 8PM you're asleep in the kids room only to wake up at 2AM and crawl into bed? Maybe there's some creative ways to work with mornings? Mid-Days?
Molly also walked us through a somatic exercise to calm the vagus nerve (vagus nerve = part of something called the autonomic nervous system (ANS)) that we can use when stress threatens our day (or intimacy!). Try it out:
Get settled
Notice your breath
Take a deep breath in
On the out breath, allow yourself to make a deep sound with the word “voo”
Hold the "voo" as long as you can comfortably exhale (the longer the better)
Repeat times three
How did that feel for you? The room noted feeling relaxed and calm, and I hope you did, too! This is a simple technique (backed by science) to stimulate both your sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest) nervous systems. Keep this one in your back pocket if you're ever feeling "on edge" or not in the mood.
One last take-away I want to share is the metaphor from author & sex educator Emily Nagoski that Molly shared with us: our sexuality is like a garden. Do you, like many of us, have a lot of shame around sexuality? Perhaps from your past experiences or environments? Personally, the little Catholic girl inside of me was met with a lot of shame which led to a lack of knowledge or power around my own garden. But Molly encouraged us to think differently via this metaphor:
Our garden was originally planted with ideas about sex and gender and love and safety and touch from our surroundings: our family, cultures, and environment
In adulthood, our gardens are fully grown; some of us have luscious gardens that we like... but most of us have some plants that does not feel right for us, does not look good to our eyes, or isn't a garden that we enjoy.
Here's her call to action: go row by row through your garden. Consider what ideas about your sexuality that you want to keep, and which ones you want to pull and throw on the compost heap.
This is your body, your life, your experience, dear friend. And as Molly shares, pleasure is your birthright.
Before we met, I saw Molly's website where she shares that she believes talking about sex can change the world. After sharing this space with her and the Life & Labor girlies, I truly believe her.
If you're interested in learning more about Molly or working with her, check her out here:
🤎Website: www.MollyEames.com
🤎Instagram: @molly.eames
🤎Facebook: @Molly Eames, M.Ed
BTW: Molly has an incredible event coming up this weekend (April 20, 2024) all around Sacred Self Pleasure. If you want to explore desire, intimacy, and love for the self & others in a comfortable and safe space, this is your space. Don't miss this opportunity to experience YOUR embodied joy!
If you're interested in connecting, supporting, and growing with other women in a safe and sacred place like this, check out our upcoming bi-monthly Life & Labor women's meetups!
Sending love and sunshine your way!
-Karli
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